surgery

been meaning to write about it for some time now but I just wanna cry when I do so I put it off....

We went to the children's hospital early in the morning the day of J's heart surgery. We waited a little while before they called us back to talk to the doctors, sign papers and to get him ready. He was too tiny for their smallest hospital gown. When we left, I just wanted it to be over already.

They called us when they started and every couple hours after that to update us on their progress. Everything was going smoothly. I got a call that said they fixed the hole and we would get a call when they were closing him up.

Sometime after that a lady came to get me and took me into a room and some doctor I had never met came out and said who knows what. I just remember wanting to yell is he ok? Is he still alive? I think they said he was bleeding and they had to find it and fix it and he was still on the ECMO.

I don't remember how much time went by but they called Bill and told him that they found the place it was bleeding from and were going to work on it.  I just remember crying and praying and waiting.  Thankfully we had parents and godparents and pastor Brandon there to keep our minds busy. 

We didn't see him that night and I really don't remember how long it was until we saw him again but he was in the PCICU for awhile.  He had one nurse and the ECMO had it's own nurse.  Next to J was a little boy born with half a heart. There were all sorts of different heart issues. 

He was on the ECMO for a week  I think with his chest still open and because of that he was heavily sedated and on plenty of medicines.  But after that first week it got a little easier.  I couldn't look too closely at his chest... they had it covered up.

After what seemed like forever, J was moved to the floor down the hall.  He had to eat normally before they would release him. That was awful.  After awhile the hospital was just getting to us too much and we weren't resting because of all the stupid beeps.  Eventually we said we will take him with the feeding tube but we've just gotta get out of this place!

Once we got home we were still exhausted but at least we were home and there were no beeps. He was on the feeding tube for a couple more weeks I think.  But now he's doing great and gaining weight and is a very happy baby.